How I’m Feeling & What’s Next

March 9, 2021

I received the results from my beta test this morning. They came back extremely low at 6.6. It is considered in the grey area; the threshold between pregnant and negative. Once again, my Doctor said she is sorry that this did not work out and contact her once my period starts to get started with the next transfer. So, according to her, this is not viable. But, this does confirm that I am experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and I am not crazy! My tests were definitely positive, and the lines were progressing.

I am left feeling less optimistic about our future possibility of success. We only have two embryos left. As of right now, there is nothing I can do to up my chances of a successful pregnancy. Everything looked perfect. I am afraid that these last two losses were due to chromosomal abnormalities, and there’s no way to fix that. We don’t smoke, drink, take vitamins and supplements, exercise, etc, etc, etc.

IVF is such a rollercoaster. Infertility is such a horrible rollercoaster. It’s hard to remain hopeful and optimistic when you keep failing. It wears on you. This is eight years of being worn down. This entire process is stressful, draining, and hurtful. I’m feeling better than yesterday and trying to change my mindset to focus on my upcoming frozen transfer. This entire process is a hurry up and wait. Now, I am waiting for my period to start…again.  I just need to find a way to switch my mind back to being positive. How do I do that??