Transfer #3 TWW Journal

April 14th

Wow, my cycle started already. I was actually telling myself I hope it took the three or so days to begin just to give me a few extra days, but NOPE!! I'm really thinking about moving forward with the transfer this cycle. I'm nervous 😓  , but I'm going to have to transfer it eventually, right??

I guess I'll be starting my diet and exercise plan tomorrow.

April 28th

Today I started my FET prep, which included IVIG, meds, and injections. Our transfer is scheduled for Saturday morning!

But oof, that 2 1/2 hour IVig is no joke, and I didn't have my headphones 😑 😩

Saturday,  May 1

Transfer complete at 10:59 am. My uterus looks great, and my embryo cultured well, and it's is a perfect 16 cell. It's now in God's hands. 

This is our last transfer for this round.  I'm not sure how I feel.  I don't have the excitement that I had towards the beginning,  but I still have hope.  I pray and believe this little embryo implants and flourishes. This is our last shot for a while.  I hope that God's plans for us align with what's in our hearts.

Monday,  May 3

It's 3am and I am starting to feel the full stabbing/ digging feeling on my lower right side.  I'm barely two days past transfer with a 4- day 16 cell embryo, so I think any symptoms are from the progesterone. But yet,  here I am, symptom spotting. I am leaning on my faith and believing God will honor my heart and prayers and grant us this miracle.  I am totally ready to receive and accept our miracle gift. I want these two weeks to be stress-free and filled with being healthy,  getting out of the house,  moving around,  focusing on blood flow,  and doing everything I can to have success.

Wednesday, May 5th

I am 4dp4dt. I don't really feel anything, so I don't know how I feel. I don't have any of the symptoms I had the previous two transfers, not even from the progesterone.  So, I don't know what to make of any of it. I want to be extremely positive and focus on anything other than what may or may not be working, but it's so hard. I want this to work so badly. I've prayed so hard and I'm doing everything in my power to help this baby stick. The waiting is hard, but focusing on gentle exercise, a healthy diet, and yoga/stretching is helping me during this time. It's something I will continue no matter what. I have my plan A and plan B, and that gets me through.

5pm

Today is just one of those days. I'm in a real funk. I don't want to be, but I can't seem to find anything to help put me in a different mood. The thing is that I'm not really feeling negative or pessimistic about this transfer,  but maybe I'm feeling upset about the entire situation. I'm upset about the past eight years,  the last three losses we've experienced, and all of the disappointment and hurt along the way. For the most part, I've come to terms with everything, and time keeps moving, but I guess grief comes in odd waves.

I don't like being negative or complaining,  but I've just wanted to cry all day. I needed to vent. I'm sure part of it is the hormones, and the other part is my fear and anxiety. This two-week wait is a tough one.

May 6

5dp4dt

I started having some mild cramping today. This

transfer feels so completely different from my last two. I don't know what to make of anything. On the plus side, I feel so much better emotionally and mentally. I think I can chalk yesterday up to hormones. I hope I don't have any more days like that, though. It's tough.

4:17pm

Trying to take a nap but jolted awake by a sharp pinging sensation on my right side. It only lasted for a couple of minutes. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Hopefully worth noting. 

May 7th

I still don't really feel anything. I have some very very mild cramping. Other than that, I feel normal. Luckily, I am still feeling good mentally and emotionally. In this moment, I think I am prepared for either outcome.  Of course, I am still hoping and believing that this is truly it, but I have finally come to the point where I am truly giving it to God. I've realized, in this process, all I have is my faith. That's what has kept me trying and believing we will get our angel baby for almost a decade. The worry and stress I kept feeling are so unhealthy. God has gotten me

through it all and will get me through anything else. I will continue to stay diligent in my health choices and doing everything I possibly can to help this baby stick. I feel good. I feel positive. God's got me. That's all I know.

May 8th, Saturday

I'm 7dp4dt (11 dpo). I woke up this morning in pain. I was having the pulling nagging feeling. I must've tried to stretch or something that set it off. So, I've been experiencing that on and off all day. I've also had that full feeling. Other than that, I have no symptoms. I'm really hoping what I'm experiencing are good signs. I still don't know how I feel or what to think. I plan on either testing Monday afternoon before I do my Ovidrel injection or waiting until late Tuesday night. My beta appointment is Wednesday. I'm really nervous about taking a test because of all the upsets over my light lines the last two transfers. I just want to see two decent lines. I'm also afraid of a negative test! I'm trying not to stress about it all, but there's a lot to be stressing over. Overall, I'm still in good spirits, but I hate not knowing what's going on with my body and our beautiful embryo.