10dp3dt: BETA EVE

March 7, 2021

Omg, tomorrow afternoon is my beta test! I so nervous. I think I’m actually scared. My tests have been positive and have gotten slightly darker, but they aren’t super dark. Also, the test I took this morning was lighter than the one I took last night. I’ve been consistent with taking them right before I go to bed, so this was the first one I took with fmu.  I’ve heard that some people get stronger positives later in the day. I’m hoping that’s my case. With my pregnancy in October, I remember feeling like something was wrong, and even though I had never considered miscarriage or chemical pregnancy before, I found myself looking it up and feeling like that was looming over my head. Sure enough, my intuition was right. This time I honestly don’t feel pessimistic or negative, so I hope that’s also a good sign! I’m nervous because I have no idea what’s going on in my body, but I’m still feeling hopeful.
I’m starting to cramp, and I don’t know if that is my period wanting to come since I am technically 13 dpo, normal due to all of the progesterone, or cramping because of pregnancy.  I hate that I can’t rely on signs and symptoms.
I felt so sad and worried on Friday. Then yesterday, I felt optimistic and positive.  Now, I’m somewhere in the middle. I think the 2ww is the worst part of all of this. I’ve gotten past the most challenging parts, and now I’m waiting to see if it all worked. 😟
On a different note, I am so excited to be done with injections! I had my last one this afternoon. I can’t believe I’ve made it to the end of my first (and hopefully last) IVF cycle.

Update- I took a test before bed, and it was darker than all of my other tests. This is a good sign, but I am remaining very cautiously optimistic.